Who is He?

It's eight o'clock on a Sunday morning. You wake to the sound of your alarm, quickly shut it off, and climb out of bed. You grab your phone off the side and head to the kitchen. It's time to get ready for church. While the coffee is brewing, you give a shout to the kids to get up and head to get a quick shower. With your hair folded up in the towel, soaked from the shower, you make take in the sweet aroma of coffee while you make yourself a cup. Midway through you nice quiet moment, the kids roll out of bed, whining that it's too early and they didn't want to get up. You inhale and prepare for your day ahead. 

The rush starts.

Breakfast.

Brush teeth.

Get dressed.

Once the kids are ready, you run off to do something quick with your hair and throw on your waterproof makeup. After a twenty minute fight to get everyone out the door, you rush off to morning church.

Does this sound a bit familiar? I know it does for me because this is my Sunday routine. However, I had the moment to ponder this past Sunday on something. As I was doing my quiet time in the morning, I decided to do my daily devotionals. This was when I realized something. I never really sat and thought about who God really is. I push myself and my family to stay on track and be sure to include God in my everyday. I talk to Him constantly. I swear if someone saw me on a daily basis, they'd think I was crazy. Especially if they're not a believer. 

A small insight to a conversation I recently had with the Lord went a something like this...

I picked up the phone bill, took a deep breath, and opened it. (I hate when the bills come in.) I see the amount owed, which is too high for my liking. "Lord, you have a phone bill down here that needs your attention. This one is yours." I call out to the Lord. 

I have small moments like this during my day. However, I never really stopped to think about besides my Lord and Savior, who is He? I took some time to finally be able to answer this. Here is my answer to who He really is...

God is good and everything He does is great. Everything... I mean everything that he made is good. All of his actions and decisions are good. God is the meaning of what it means to be good. The thoughts that He thinks are always good and not harmful. He's always slow to anger and forgives quickly. When He is angry, this anger is always righteous. 

God is perfect! He always gets it right on the first try and He NEVER makes a mistake. The power He has over sin is strong and mighty. He uses our sins to accomplish good in our lives and helps us learn more of who we are. He is sovereign over evil, yet He is entirely separate from it. However, nothing is out of His control. 

He is merciful.

He is powerful.

He is knowledgeable in everything.

He is patient.

He is faithful.

He is true to all.

He is reliable.

He is honest.

He exists out of time and space. 

He is the creator of it all, including the universe.

He is the ONLY God who was and is to come! He is eternal.

God is worthy of all to praise His name, worship Him, love Him, abide in Him, and adore Him.

****

After I fully understood who God is, I realized that He is worthy of my love. He deserves the devotion I should give Him. He is obedient to my calls and prayers, therefore, I need to be obedient of His calls and plans for my life. Once I started being obedient to His plan, I found Him at the center of my life. My life was full of pure joy, perfect peace, and many blessings. 

Who is He to you?

You ARE Loved!!

I have found many struggles in life before and after my walk with Christ started. I stumbled, fell, and got back up. When I found my faith a few years ago, I was broken, shattered, and unsettled in my identity with Christ. I had so many insecurities and let downs. Immediately after my return to Christ, Jesus started to mend my broken pieces. During the biggest struggle in my life, I wrote my journey in a book to share with others and show them that they weren't alone. As I wrote this book, Jesus spoke to me and told me who I was in Him. I learned about my identity in Christ.

When I focused my life on my identity, God revealed issues and things I struggled with that weren't according to His plan. As I worked my way through His list, I learned far more than I could have imagined. I often refer to two different Bible verses to define who I am in Christ. The first is Philippians 4:3, "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." The second is John 3:16, "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life."

These verses apply to YOU too!

God love you and there isn't a thing in this world that can change His love for you. He doesn't love us based on how close we are to Him or how much we pray. He loves you, even more than you love yourself. His love is unconditional! Even the times where you don't love yourself, He still loves you. In sin, He loves you. 

God loves everyone, everywhere, all the time. It doesn't matter what we look like, the things we do or say, or the way we behave. Yes, He wants you to turn from sin and follow Him, but this is because He wants an eternity with you and doesn't want to see you perish. 

So I am here today to inspire you to tell the enemy to quiet those lies he's been whispering in your ears because you are loved and cherished by the Most-High. You are the princess/prince of THE ONE TRUE KING!

Marriage & Social Media

The sun rises and the alarm goes off. Of course, I don't hear it but my son, who was sleeping next to me, stirs. His movements in the bed wake me up and I hear my alarm. I roll over, shut off the noise, and take a deep breath. Another day I have been blessed.

I grab my cell phone from the nightstand and pick up my son. We walk out to the kitchen to join my Mom, who's usually talking on the phone to my step-dad, who's on the road because he's a truck driver. Placing my son in his high chair with his breakfast, I make my way to the coffee pot. (Another one of God's amazing blessings: COFFEE)

Once my cup of deliciousness is complete, I sit to enjoy it while scrolling through Facebook. I see small bits of the lives of those I care about and those I haven't ever met. I see several articles with the "click bait" headlines, which I try not to click on. However, curiosity gets to me and I read the article. Most of the time these articles are usually centered around Jesus. However, some of them are of relationships, marriage, and romance. I try to stay away from any misleading marriage articles because I'm striving to follow the best advice one could get about marriage: the Bible. Now don't get me wrong. I also like to look up to those who have been married for the long haul, those that have the kind of marriage I pray to have when I'm older.

At times, I tend to watch the older couples in church and think that their marriage is sweet because you hardly see a marriage lasting that long. If it's more than five or so years, I tend to be in awe these days. I try to push myself away from "judging or coveting" the marriages I see on social media. I tend to feel that, at times, the polish was taken to the post and only the good times are shared. A lot of the time, we don't see the negative that happens within the marriage.  The shield normally covers the marriage and the transparency isn't available. These people only want you to see what they feel will get them some kind of attention. Now, don't get me wrong. There's nothing wrong with showing your love to your spouse online. I do this myself, quite often actually. I'm talking about the "perfect" family, marriage, and life posts.

We're not here to allow the world to impact our marriage. We want our marriage to impact the world. Thus meaning that the outside view of marriage shouldn't ever be used to shape your marriage. Your marriage (biblically) should want to impact the world around you. How do you do this without crossing the line of the "perfect" life posts? Easy.

Continue to live life with Christ at the core. Focus all your energy on Jesus and allow Him to do the talking. He'll take control and whisper to the hearts of those around you. 

Who Do You Want to Be?

Who do I want to be?

This isn't a question I have taken the time to think about and answer before. It never occurred to me that there could be way more meaning than the typical answers you get to this question. Growing up, we're asked all the time what we want to be. My answers were a teacher, a mother, a wife, a friend, a cosmetologist, a massage therapist, a writer, and the best Christian I could be.

After taking some time to ponder on my answer to this question, I came up with this.

I want to be many things within my life. My childhood dreams still stand true, however, a few things have fallen off that list.

First, I am a teacher. I'm not the type of teacher I had thought I'd be while young. I don't hold a teaching degree but that doesn't mean I'm not qualified. As a mother of three (two physically with me), I teach them every day. I teach them about Jesus, life, and love. I've dedicated my life to these two amazing souls and I've promised God that I would do everything in my power to raise them in the way they should go. So far, I think I've done a good job. My daughter goes to a Christian homeschooling group and has daily instruction in basic education with teachers who love her dearly. She not only gets the education but also time with God. (LOVE THIS) My son is a baby, but not just any baby. He's the most joyful and pleasant soul I know. When we sit down and pray, he takes the hands around him, bows his head, and says his own prayer in baby words. (Another parenting win!) Yes, I am a teacher.

Second, I am a mother. I have carried three babies in my womb and I have given birth to two screaming babies and one angel baby. Even though the world sees me with two kids, I have one sitting on Jesus' lap while enjoying Heaven's choir. I have been immensely blessed to have been able to carry these children and experience the birth process. However, being a mother is so much more than this. I am a mother because I care for these children. I nurse them when they are sick. I play games with them that others would find boring. I get covered with the spaghetti dinner that my son decided he was finished with. I get the fights with my daughter when she pushes for something I don't believe would benefit her. I get the small art projects that were created with me in mind. I get the hugs, kisses, and love these children have to give. Yet, I mourn a child who has never looked into my eyes, kissed me, hugged me, or even called out for me. Instead, her beautiful delicate body is resting in her forever bed in a small grave in Pennsylvania. Yes, I am a mother.  

Third, I am a wife. I stressed over the dress, the flowers, the cake, and the decorations. I enjoyed the honeymoon after I walked down that isle. I was made to feel like a princess. However, there's so much more to being a wife. I supported dreams which weren't mine, passions that I didn't have a taste for, and I have experienced a different kind of love. This type of love is on a much deeper level that one can express. I have listened to hours of excitingness after a day watching a favorite sports team, I listened to the thrills of how great an eight-second car just ran down the drag strip. I listened to memories of war, military, and loneliness. I held in my own pain while the pain of a broken soldier cried out from the pain left behind after a tour in war within Iraq. I nursed sickness into health. I've loved more than I ever thought I could love another human being, other than my children. I am a wife!

Fourth, I am a friend. I gave my shoulder for the tears which fell, and my tears slipped from my eyes because my heart was overloaded. I embraced memories and laughter that only a friend could have. I have opened my heart to the purest love outside of my family. I listened to hours and tried to mend the broken heart, which wasn't mine. I dreamt those dreams with someone who didn't have to choose me. My heart cares deeply for the people who don't live with me but live within my heart. They have come and gone, and some still remain. Right now, a piece of my heart is in Oklahoma, Tennessee, California, Florida, Massachusetts, and Heaven. I am a friend.

Fifth, I am a writer. Four books. Self-published. Long hours and even years, I have spent sitting in front of a computer while creating a new world for someone else to enjoy. These books are part of who I am. My world. my tears, my dreams are all wrapped up in these pages. These books are more than just books. They are my passions, my hopes, my dreams! I have reached out to inspire, give hope, and to allow someone else to dream. I live in an isolated world for these books. My dedication will always be and I will NOT give up. I may second guess this nook of the world because that's part of who I am. I will be frustrated beyond my control and ready to throw in the towel. However, I can't because writing is part of who I am. I cannot survive without it. I am a writer.

Last, I am a Christian. I have a strong relationship with Jesus Christ. He is my peace, my joy, and my happiness. He has NEVER let me down and has always picks me, even when I sadly didn't choose him. He's always there waiting to embrace me, love me, and guide me. I have dedicated my life to Him, as He gave His life for me. I am a Christian.

Now, I'm asking you..... Who do you want to be?

Lukewarm Christians

God doesn't like us to be lukewarm Christians. He created us to be fearless and to stand out. “Lukewarm” for me means SITTING ON THE FENCE! In life, I don’t believe in sitting on the fence. I believe in taking sides. When we decide to "sit on the fence" we won't get anything out of life, except for maybe a few splinters. Many times, people don't hesitate to make decisions and they don't seem to have problems when it comes to making these decisions. Maybe because in today's world, we have so many options to choose from. When it comes to problems with decision making, perhaps they're run by fear and they're afraid of the outcome. Perhaps they feel that as long as they hang out on the fence is best because they're safe. 

However, they couldn't be more wrong.

When it comes to making the decision to follow Christ, this should be done now. Paul says in 2 Corinthians 6:2 that “now is the accepted time; behold, now is the day of salvation.” He doesn't say to hang out, test the waters, and see if it's something you may enjoy. He says NOW is the time! God created us with a vision in mind and then used the selfless act to give us free will. This free will is a blessing for us, but, in turn, we could use it to hurt us as well. We take this for granted. Accepting Christ as your Savior is a very important decision one can make. The Bible tells us that sin does not enter into Heaven, so choosing an eternity in the glory of God or in the depths of hell is pretty serious if you ask me. 

I know that some feel that if they choose Jesus, they're going to lose everything they ever enjoyed and basically live life like a robot going through the motions. Let me be the first to say, when you chose Jesus, you're gaining everything. You gain eternity, salvation, love like you have never experienced before, and a lifetime of blessings. Who wouldn't want that?

Now, when one calls themselves a Christian but picks and chooses parts of the Bible to follow and disregards the rest, this is also a form of being on the fence. I believe that if you're for God, you are ALL IN! I'm not trying to scare anyone, however, if you feel any type of conviction while reading this, perhaps the Lord is speaking to your heart. Open up and listen to what He has to say.

The enemy tries everything to keep us out of the church and away from God. He makes us believe that we can't serve God because of our past sins or because of something we're doing right now. It's all lies. He could be whispering any of these lines to you....

You can't serve God when you smoke or drink.

You won't have any fun doing that. You're going to give up everything you love.

You're not good enough. Look at your past, it's full of things that aren't pleasing.

What will your friends think?

These lies continue.

Becoming a Christian will transform you and it is a life changing event. Some believe you need to clean up and throw out the garbage before they can be a Christian. Once you make the decision to be saved and confess that Jesus is Lord, then Christ will do the cleaning. Jesus will be there helping you through all of it. He will never leave your side. Take it like this, we all have that one thing we do that doesn't line up with the Christian lifestyle but change isn't overnight. Change happens over time WITH THE HELP OF GOD!

When we start to fill our lives with godly things and start to take the instructions from the Bible into consideration, it begins to transform us and our life priorities. We really become like Christ. This change will take time, but moving in the right direction is key. We aren't sitting idle on the fence weighing the pros and cons. We are DOING something.

Joyce Meyer posted this quote on Facebook: “If you will start choosing to do what you know is right, your feelings will catch up with it.” I love this. Each morning when we wake up, we have the option to choose to do what we know is right. We have the choice to choose God or the world. The more we chose God, the better our relationship becomes and the easier it is to walk in faith. 

When becoming a Christian, there's not a list of the dos and don't of life. We don't get told how to dress or talk or how to act. Our instructional manual (the Bible) is the ONLY manual we need. As we pray and seek God, changes will come in our lives. These changes will happen deep within and work their way out. However, none of this will happen if we don't decide to GET OFF THE FENCE.

Choose for yourself today on whom you serve. 

I choose Jesus.

Power of Hope: Finding Hope

In a world where being strong, independent, and bold takes the stand. It can leave us feeling beaten and battered when we come to a standstill because of an unforeseen circumstance that leaves life with uncertain plans. We encounter times in our lives that try to weaken us and make us feel that its hopeless. 

However, as Christians we don't have to worry about the situations we face because God has our backs. Jeremiah 29:11 says, "For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and hope." 

I believe that faith and hope intertwined with one another. I see faith in the now and hope in the future. For if we have hope for our future, especially if Jesus is walking beside us, the down right exhausting parts of life won't get us down. Everyone who allows Christ to guide their footsteps is guaranteeing themselves for a better future and a forgiven past!

But, how is it that we find this hope that I speak of?

How is it that we hold this hope close to our hearts when life has us so overwhelmed and uncertain?

Finding hope when we have hit rock bottom in life can be a tricky one but I'm here to tell you that it IS POSSIBLE!!!

First, I want you to completely forget anything that is causing you to stress or worry. Clear the mind of all these negative things. Now, think of the times in your life where you have done something amazing. For me, I believe it's absolutely amazing that I have managed to push forward into year three without my daughter. To live without a child is hard, however the most amazing part of this is that I had hope in Christ that things would (are) getting better. I love thinking of the ideas and plans that the Lord has set up for me because I know it'll all be worth it in the end. Now, if only we can ALWAYS think this way. It's hard but if we change our mindset to see the beauty in the hard times, the blessings when all seems lost, and the joy that is to come, we can grasp onto hope and ride this life with ease.

Another way to find hope is to find yourself reading God's word on a daily basis. How can we fight the battles we face if we aren't equipped with the gear needed? The things we need in order to face and destroy the enemy in his tracks are in the Bible. I use the Bible App on my phone to help with this. If you're not sure of the app I'm talking about, go to the app store on whichever device you have and look it up. This app comes equipped with daily reading plans to help you stay on track and prepare for the battle of daily life.

In addition to finding hope within the Bible, we should allow ourselves to be surrounded by positive inspiration. If we surround ourselves with optimism... we're sure to always look toward the bright side of things before we focus on the negative. 

The power of hope is there. We just have to grab it and hold on tight.

a prayer for those who need healing

it's that time of the year

cough

sneezing

colds

flu

it seems as if everyone is down with some type of illness.

in order for us to fully recover, we NEED Jesus.

we need His healing.

today, I pray for each person who is battling some type of illness

Father God,

Touch the sick

work wonders inside them today, Lord.

show them Your grace, mercy, and love!

heal each stuffy nose, each sneeze, each cough.

wipe away their pain.

rid them of any viruses or infections they're battling, Father

so that they may fully live their days as you intended.

In Jesus Name

~AMEN~

For the days when you think you failed at adulthood....

... let's be honest...

BEING AN ADULT IS HARD!

Growing up, I never imagined my life as it's been since I've been on my own.

I've had to stay with family on countless occasions.

my heart has been broken more than once,

sometimes I feel like I'm at the end of my rope

BUT

Jesus steps in...

... grabs my hand...

and shows me

IT'S GOING TO BE ALL RIGHT!!

Sometimes it's hard for me to see Him speaking to me because I'm so wrapped up in the now to realize He's calling my name. 

I've even heard His whispers a little too late.

That's why I believe we should slow down and LISTEN for His voice. Our problems aren't for us to bare. Jesus wants us to open up to Him and He wants us to spill out all of our heartaches to Him. 

My goal for this year is to do just that. Slow down and listen. I want to hear His call. 

Therefore, this is my prayer for all who feel as if they're failing:

Father God,

Thank you for all the blessings you've given us. Thank you for taking our problems on as your own and for loving us the way you do.

Father, I ask that you embrace the person reading this.

Shower your love and compassion over them.

Heal the sick.

Lead the weary.

Calm the frazzled nerves.

Lord, help us to know when you're speaking to us. Give us the wisdom to know when we should be quiet and listen. Help us to follow Your ways and give us the strength to bare everything that comes our way within this upcoming year.

-In Jesus Name

Amen! 

New Years Blessing

As the new year approaches, I want to say a small prayer for you....

Father God,

I want to thank you for the gift of another year. Another year full of blessings and your love. Another year to praise and worship you. I come to you to ask you to pour your love over the person reading this. Father, this is my prayer for those who read it and follow my blog.

I pray for strength for each day during the year

so that they may face ANY situation that comes their way.

I pray for happiness and blessings to pour over them

while they make their way through the new year.

Help them to live a life full of gratitude and hope.

Help them to not be bitter but glad.

Pour joy into their lives, Father.

I pray for anything negative to be taken 

and left in the past.

Father,

grant them joy, peace, and love.

Hope, Faith, and Grace.

In Jesus Name

-Amen

Wrapping Up 2015: What I Learned During the Year

As another year closes out, I feel it's important for me to reflect back on the past year to acknowledge everything the Lord has done for me. Under normal circumstances, I'd push for the New Year ball to drop and not look back. However, I have so much to be grateful for and I can't allow myself to let this pass without taking a moment to reflect. I believe that by doing this, I am shedding the negative, not quite pretty stuff, which can hold me back from the blessings in store for me within the upcoming year.

I'm opening the comments up to you to share what you have learned during the year too. 

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I have gained some new insight, gained new knowledge, expanded my faith, reexamined my life, and got rid of the things/people that didn't help me in my walk with Christ. I know there's so much more within life which I need to learn, however, I'm grateful for the journey the Lord has led me during 2015.

This had been the first year that I truly dived into studying the Bible and keeping up with my daily devotions/studies. I had the privilege to see and witness God work in many lives and perform several miracles. I have learned that the Bible isn't only a set guideline for our lives but a WAY of life. On the days where I didn't make time to read His Word, my day felt off and it just wasn't right. I have learned that through the Bible, many people through time have faced difficulty on every level and the Lord was right there with them. 

In order for my days to start and end well I included Jesus. A morning without Jesus and coffee... boy.. it was rough. I NEED the two for my day to tick by with grace, love, and joy. 

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Now for the smaller blessings/lessons I have came across during the past year.

1. Prayer Wall

By starting my prayer wall, I've been able to keep track of all the prayer requests I have received and easily go through each one. 

2. Weekly Bible Verse/Prayers 

By doing this, I have opened up my heart to more and to others. I've noticed that when I started the weekly Bible verse on my blog, I was able to explore different verses in the Bible and learn the Word of God easier since I used the week to learn a verse.

3. Laughter (and lots of it)

They say that laughing is good for the soul. I must say that I agree. When I laugh, it makes the environment around me free and more relaxed. This made it easier to enjoy the time with my kids and husband when we were carefree and focused on that moment. 

4. When life is falling apart, God's plan is falling into place...

During the year, my family and I hit some hard times, which caused us to give up our home and move in with family. It's been within the past few months that I have learned so much about WHY this has happened. I have learned that it it's not about WHAT you have in your life, but WHO you have. Within the time, I have seen my children form a bond with my parents like no other. I love the crazy times full of laughter AND the hard times mixed in with pain. Each moment has taught me a lesson in life that I believe God needed me to learn.

5. Instagram really isn't that boring....

Like so many others I know, Instagram is one social media platform that I'm part of. At first I wasn't so sure about it until I started to meet some amazing people and form awesome relationships. Here are my most popular posts from 2015 on Instagram.

1. my daughter and I after her school photo shoot

2. my son and his many smiles

3. my husband and I showing our support for PAIL

4. my son's joyful smile

5. my daughter's beautiful smile

6. Father's day collage for my husband

This is my year wrapped up. 

How was your 2015 year?

I believe...

Two bold words.

I believe.

They have the power to change. The power to inspire. The power to give hope. 

They also have the power to stir up the pot and create a shield among us. 

However, I chose to push this words for good.

By writing it down, it gives me the time to think and reflect on the words, which were laid upon my heart.

I believe. 

I believe in miracles. 

I believe in hope. 

I believe in faith.

I believe that our Lord of Heaven is as incredible as you ever imagined. He is one who loves and cherishes us. He gives us a future we can look forward to. He gives us strength and has the power of life and death.

I believe that Jesus died for me to save me from my sins.

I believe that prayers are answered when said from the heart.

I believe in the power of prayer.

I believe in you when you feel as if no one cares.

I believe in me when I feel I'm at the end, so I push on.

I believe it's never too late to have your happily ever after.

I believe pain ends where faith begins.

I believe love finds and conquers all. 

What do you believe?

a prayer for your week

this is for the weary at heart. the ones who feel overwhelmed, stressed, or just worn out. 

Father God,

please place your hands upon the person reading this. help them father during their week to face each situation as you would. give them the strength to face each situation. the wisdom for tackling the different situations they may find themselves in. Father, give them peace and pour your love over them.

thank you, Father for Your everlasting love and grace. You are the utmost high and we praise You in all of Your glory.

- In Jesus' name

Amen

Faith in Action: Strength

Isaiah 40:31

Those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.

When we know the meaning of faith, have a tiny bit of faith, continue to grow our faith through questions, be content in waiting, and rely on God, we are building our strength in faith. This means that even though we walk in a dark world if we build up ourselves by taking in the Word of God, we will be ready to overcome any battle we may face. 

Each Christian in this world is weak compared to God. This is why we must lean on Him and allow Him to direct our steps. We are not perfect and this is a gift when realized. We need to realize that we need God and His love and mercy. 

The best way we can strengthen our faith is to practice our faith. This means that we let go of our worries, fears, anxiety, and sadness by handing it over to Jesus. Once we pray for His will to be done and we allow God the opportunity to take these things from us, we need to remember to LET IT GO! That doesn't mean to pray about it and continue on with these negative feelings. That means once you pray, move on to something that is worth your time and energy. 

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We are now in the last part of the Faith in Action Blog Series. Thank you for following along and I pray that you see your faith in a different light and see just how important it is to have faith as a child of God. 

If you enjoyed this series, please send me a little note telling me what it was that you enjoyed so much and keep an eye out for my next blog series. 

God Bless

Merry Christmas & Happy Holidays

Faith in Action: Waiting

Wait. 

This is often a word that no one wants to hear.

Waiting can be difficult, especially when we're desiring something good in life.

For example, "As a child on Christmas Eve, we must wait for Christmas to arrive to dive into the pile of gifts laid out nicely for all." 

As a child, it's hard for us to wait for joyous moments such as these. I remember a time when I was little where the value of waiting was too much. On Christmas Eve, my mother used to give me and my sisters one gift to open. We joyfully ran into the living room, sat down in anticipation, while my mom handed us these beautifully wrapped gifts. We tore off the wrapping to reveal what was inside. As I dropped the last of the wrapping paper on the floor, I noticed that the gift I held in my hands were different then what my sisters unwrapped. The two of them marveled at their new dolls while I held a knitted scarf and hat. They were beautiful, however, my next set of actions weren't. I threw the gift down and threw a fit because I didn't get a doll of my own. After my fit, I ran off to my room. In the haste of my fit, I didn't realize what my actions had done to my mom, who was excited for us to see what she worked so hard to get us. 

In my mom's anger, she shuffled through the bits of gifts hidden in her room for the one she thought she grabbed and threw it at me. I came to find out that I did get a precious little doll from her but in her rush to give these gifts, she grabbed the wrong one for me. Her feelings were hurt because I wasn't being grateful, nor did I wait to see what Christmas day would bring. 

I remember this Christmas and the feelings that I felt afterward weren't pleasant. I felt guilty, sad, and I felt bad for not being grateful for what I had. I felt bad for what I did. If I had been grateful and waited, I would have found out the next day that my mom got me a doll too. That was the year that I ruined Christmas for my family. If I would have waited, I wouldn't have broken my mom's heart, stole the joy from the season, and I could have saved myself my own heartache. 

Our relationship with God and faith is just that... waiting. Sometimes when we ask God for things, we take His response as Him not answering our prayers or ignoring us. That is not the case. We need to have faith when we take things to God in prayer that He will answer them according to His will. Perhaps God did answer your prayer and it was a simple "no" or "not yet?" 

When we are praying, we need to wait patiently and have faith that God will answer us in His time and in the way He sees is best for us. Sometimes when He says no, we later find out that it was, in fact, better for us. Therefore don't let the enemy to persuade you that God is deaf to your prayers or ignoring you because HE'S NOT!

I believe that waiting is God's way of testing our faith and helping us to grow in our faith. Therefore, the next time you feel you're in the waiting period, thank God for the waiting moment and see what blessing He's trying to show you.

Faith in Action: Questioning

The meaning of faith, as mentioned on the start of this series, is a form of trust in the Lord when you can't actually see Him. It's given just as love is, unconditionally. There will be times in our walk with Christ where you'll have questions about Heaven, the Bible, and God. That's okay. When we ask questions and seek answers; we learn. I have been actively pursuing and growing my faith for several years now and I yearn to learn more. That's why if you watch my morning routine, it includes reading my Bible. If you watch my afternoon routine, it involves more reading of the Bible. Lastly, if you watched my nightly routine, it includes even more reading of the Bible. I crave to learn more of God's word and his hopes for us.

However, I'm not a Biblical scholar by no means. As a matter of fact, I still have A LOT to learn.

I still find myself asking questions, as I believe we will ask them until the day the Lord takes us home.

... and that's okay!!

Just because we ask questions doesn't mean we are lacking in faith. It means that we are seeking to grow our faith in Christ and His word. 

Since we are told to LIVE by faith, this means that in everything we do, it should involve Christ and we should be making a conscious decision to TRUST in His promises. We shouldn't ever stop asking questions, especially when it comes to our faith. To learn and grow, a child drives their parents crazy with questions during their young years. I believe that we should drive Jesus loopy with our questions to learn of His ways and His desires for us. 

Therefore, DO NOT BE AFRAID TO ASK.

The Bible tells us,

 "Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know." Jeremiah 33:3 (NIV) : This is telling us to ASK!!

What are you asking the Lord to help you learn to strengthen your faith?

Faith in Action: A Mustard Seed

He replied, "If you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mulberry tree, 'Be uprooted and planted in the sea,' and it will obey you. - Luke 17:6

I'm sure you have heard this verse many times before but have you ever stopped to truly see what it means for us today? First let's take a look at the mustard seed. 

Look at how TINY a mustard seed is -------> 

It's so small that you can hardly see it when holding it. This is the point of faith. It only takes a tiny bit and we can move mountains through God. How amazing is that? 

Faith wasn't something that was easy for me to come by and I do find myself struggling with it at times. I mean I am only human. However, when I feel my faith wavering, I stop to think of this verse and what Jesus told his apostles. When I start doubting, I remember Jesus telling the apostles that they needed to increase their faith. 

Jesus said, "The kingdom of heaven is like a mustard seed, which a man took and planted in his field. Though it is the smallest of all seeds, yet when it grows, it is the largest of garden plants and becomes a tree, so that birds come and perch in its branches. (Matthew 13: 31-32)

We are God's creation, his family, sons and daughters. We have been commissioned as Saints. We are to walk the earth as we proclaim of His return. If we believe and have faith, we can do wonders within this world through Jesus Christ. 

When we have faith, it's a hard road. I'm not saying it's going to be easy, however just the smallest bit of faith can be grown through our dedication and love toward Christ. If we devote our time to reading His word like we devote to checking our Facebook page, just imagine all of the things we can do for Christ!! 

But most of all, we NEED to put our faith in Christ. He said that he would never leave us, even when times are tough or when we sin. He still loves us. I know how rough life can get. I've been through so much that was designed to ruffle my feathers and it could have wavered my faith. However, in my darkest moments, Jesus was there for me. He listened to my cries and answered my prayers. 

Let me tell you about how my faith started with Jesus.  

I was at the lowest of lows. My soul was crushed and shattered. I was planning the one thing in life I never imagined that I'd have to do. I hurting because of the death/burial of my infant daughter. She was born still, forever sleeping, or some may recognize it as a stillbirth. I was lost, damaged, and depressed.

On this particular day, I was alone at home. My husband was at work and my oldest daughter was in school. I was supposed to be picking up the house and doing my daily chores. However, instead of doing my wifely duties, I sat in the corner of my living room, worship music blasting through the speakers of my computer while I held on to the only thing I had left of her; her hospital blanket. 

I remember standing up, walking to the center of the room, and crying out to God. I went weak in the knees and dropped to the floor. While praying, I asked God, "Why?" I did a bunch of unrecognizable rambles through my screams of pain and heartbreak.

Then, the most unexpected thing happened. My music stopped in mid-song. Then jumped to another song on the list. (Phil Collins "You'll Be in My Heart) started blasting through the room. Immediately, my sobs stopped. I turned to look at my computer and a strong peace filled the room. I felt comfort, love, and a renewed strength. That's when I knew that Jesus was with me. To this day, these words ring in my mind when I'm faced with difficulty: 

Come stop your crying
It will be alright
Just take my hand
Hold it tight

I will protect you
From all around you
I will be here
Don't you cry

For one so small,
You seem so strong
My arms will hold you,
Keep you safe and warm
This bond between us
Can't be broken
I will be here
Don't you cry

I believe that these words are to me from Jesus. He was comforting me. He told me to stop crying and hold His hand because He was going to protect me from all that was going on around me. He was promising me that he wasn't going to leave me. To the world, I'm small but through Christ, He had made me strong. However, when I would feel the need to fall, His arms would catch me, keeping me safe and warm. That's where our bond grew and I knew it'd never be broken.

That day was the day that my mustard seed was watered and began to sprout in all directions. 

Think about it: Is your faith that of a mustard seed that's waiting to be watered by Jesus so it can grow into something so profound, that it will change your life?

Faith in Action: What is Faith?

Faith.

I asked today on my Facebook page, what does faith mean to you? 

Here are my thoughts to this question:

Life. Faith to me means life. In today's world, many claim they have faith and are living a life full of faith. To some, it's a bonus to living with Christ. It's something that's optional or completely misunderstood. I have seen this. I have told others who I have seen going through trying times to have faith. They've responded, "I have faith but..."

NO!! STOP!!

There aren't any BUT'S in faith.

When one has faith, they turn EVERYTHING, every worry, fears, and all anxiety to Him. Everything. They take their issues directly to the Lord and ask for the help, strength, and wisdom to get through whatever it is they're facing. Then, they LET IT GO!! Once you give it to God, don't look back. Don't worry about it. Don't give into the whispers to the ears from the enemy.

Faith isn't perfected overnight. It's an ongoing process that EVERY Christian must work on. I don't believe anyone has perfect faith because if that were the case.... then, they'd be right there beside Christ.

Faith is an important part of the life of a Christian. It's vital to our walk. My faith helps make the world around me make sense. It shows me that no matter what I'm facing, God is with me and HE knows what's going to happen, so I don't need to worry about the ending. I know this because I'm His child and He will take care of me. Everything will happen according to his plan.

Faith is my identity and way of life. I may struggle with it at times but when I catch myself not showing faith, I pull the reins and pull my faith back.

Faith is a form of trust in the Lord when you can't actually see Him. It's given just as love is, unconditionally.

Faith isn't stepping into a situation and having doubt. When faced with a difficult situation, one must fully rely on God. They can't claim that they have faith if they let worry, anxiousness, fear, doubt, or any other negative feelings in. When one has faith, they let go and let God. Then, they don't worry about the situation again because God WILL take care of it.

*Previously published on RaeBeth's Corner*

What would you say?

Christians.

What exactly does being a Christian mean to you?

I was recently asked this question by a friend who takes a high respect for my faith and relationship with Christ.

Until that moment, I never really thought about what it REALLY means to me about being a Christian. After much thought, I have come up with this...

First, upon thinking about it, I approached this question and realized how broad it is. But I believe I'll outline my major thoughts on this question.

I believe that the greatest thing about being a Christian is the renewed relationship I have with Jesus. This is something that is close to me and highly cherished. In a world where everything is steeped in rebellion against Jesus, it's amazing for me to push past the negativity, hatred, and anger and step into the light of Jesus Christ. A Christian walks beside Christ in every circumstance, thus giving him life and winning over condemnation. Being in a relationship with Christ and creating a grounds of friendship is being a Christian.

This relationship with Jesus is one that I have to pursue because Jesus is a gentleman and waits for us to come to Him. He doesn't force himself on you. By being a Christian, I can say, without a doubt, that when my time is up on this earth and I'm standing at the gates of Heaven, I'll be welcomed in. It is by His grace that I am saved. Humanity and life is a gift from God and Christians realize this. We change our ways from being bitter, hate-filled to joyful and loving. Being a Christian means that we have been saved through Jesus Christ and we don't need to strive for God's approval. Jesus took care of this on the cross.

Being a Christian doesn't mean that I am perfect and sin free. It just means that I was weak enough to allow Christ in to my heart so He can direct my steps and lead me in my new life. This life that I speak of is filled with hope, faith, love, gratitude, and submission to Christ. This also means that we have the heavenly kingdom waiting for us once our body dies. Through Jesus, we have beat death and will dwell with the Lord in Heaven for all eternity.

I feel that as a Christian, I have been blessed and most fortunate because I have been given life outside of death, hope in a new life with Christ, and a very loving God. By my faith, I'm pursuing the life God has in store for me and I'll keep my hope that he'll be there at the gate to embrace me when I go home!

Now... if at any given moment... someone would approach me and ask tell me that I had five second to proclaim my love for Christ and in doing that I would die, I would say I am willing to die for him. I can say this because I have been redeemed through Christ and I live my life striving to follow the ways of the Bible and loving Jesus.

How would you respond if you were in the position of the couple in the video below? Take about ten minutes and watch the video and then let me know in the comments below.

What would your response be??

Makes you think.... doesn't it?

Monday Muse

Be an everyday Christian.

I stumbled on to Facebook this morning while enjoying a cup of coffee. The crisp fall morning air showed it's chill by the dew gently covering the fallen leaves outside. 

After I get my daughter off to school, baby boy and I hang out at the kitchen table. He eats his breakfast and I prepare for my day. 

This morning I was taken back by the amount of people who I see are standing in the doorway of Christ. 

Let me explain...

These are the types of people you see in Church every Sunday, worshipping the Lord, thanking God for each blessing, and the first to pray at the alter. 

Monday morning comes and their page is full of so much negativity, curse words, and Unchristian like posts, which saddens my heart.

I'm not here to judge, however, I am called to help keep my fellow brothers and sisters in Christ on track. 

Let me say this... you can't be in between.

What I mean by this is... one minute you're praising God for the wonderful blessings He gave and then the next, cussing out a person on social media because they crossed you the wrong way. I know that if we are going to be for God, we need to be for Him all the way. This mean both in church and outside of church! 

Don't be afraid of what the world will think... Jesus wasn't.

Don't be afraid about what your friends might think... Jesus wasn't.

We need to start being BOLD and stand up FOR Christ at ALL times of the day, week, and year. 

Jesus wasn't ashamed of us, therefore we shouldn't be ashamed of Him. We should fully let go of the worldly ways and focus on Christ.

The Day I Let Go...

Let me tell you a story.

This story isn't just a story. It's a true story about the day I was rescued from darkness, heartache, pain, and depression. You see, I've endured the worst type of pain. Heartache one couldn't imagine, unless they've experienced it, too! This type of heartache is meant to destroy. It will shatter your soul if you let it. 

This time in my life was supposed to be one of the most joyful times of my life. However, it turned my world into chaos and pain; in an instant. Any and all securities I had within the world instantly vanished and was replaced with uncertainty and anxiety. I truly felt as if I were free-falling from the sky and at any moment I would hit the hard, merciless ground with a thud. 

I lived life day by day, without a care in the world. I was numb. I didn't feel as deeply as I once did. I allowed nothing to move my soul. I glided through life with no joy, hope, or remorse. My care was stolen and others saw me suffer. Many times I was asked, "why" but I had no answer for them. Sorrow flooded my soul.

I had reached the point in my life where nothing mattered. Not a care in the world crossed my heart.

I let go! I slowly faded over time. Things that once meant a lot to me no longer mattered. This included me. The day my world shattered, part of my soul died. Those who love me tried, oh how they tried. They tried to get me free from this darkness, but they didn't succeed. It was hopeless because, up to this point, only one thing mattered and that was to get through life so I could find my joy waiting for me at the gates of Heaven. 

Little did I know, I had to do a lot more while I was here on earth to make it to the gate and walk through. I didn't realize this until much later.

Against my better wishes, I packed my bags and headed off. I was in search of my joy. I needed to care again. I needed to truly love again. But...how?

I climbed to the back of the SUV with a fake smile. Those who were around me lived life with joy. The entire trip was full of singing and worshipping of the Lord. The love I saw flowing from them caused my heart to soften a bit from its stone-like state. Oh, to live as they did once again!

By the time we reached our destination, I had one thing in mind, which was to get away. My heart couldn't handle all the happiness and joy that flooded the car. It was too much. How and why did they expect me to be happy and hopeful again?

Several hours passed and it was time for worship. Don't get me wrong, I took part and hoped that something would reveal itself so I would know what I needed to be free. I was in so deep that I needed out of this world power to be set free. However, I sang my heart out and felt nothing.

Then, I heard a voice, "Let go."

I chose to ignore it because, even the thought of letting go was absurd. If I let go then I risked forgetting and I never wanted to forget.

 A message was shared and more songs were sung, but I stood there unmoved. How could these women be so happy when I was forced into this darkness? Where was their compassion? Their love? The joyful laughs stung.

One woman came to me with sadness in her eyes and said, "Rae-Beth, I don't really know you, but I'm so sorry." Then she grabbed me, held me tight, and cried. Oh, how she cried! Her tears did something to me. My heart softened a bit more. A strange but known feeling came into my heart. For the first time in months, I felt a bit of compassion for her as she did with me. I, then, realized as this woman hugged me that her compassion moved through me and I felt it. This was when I realized I wasn't a lost cause. 

Time passed. I experienced no new feelings. I felt defeated. I believed that my life wasn't meant for joy again. I cried. I begged. However, nothing changed.

I heard the voice again, "Let go."

"No, I can't," I pushed back. I couldn't and refused to forget.

The voice pushed further, "Trust me."

I had a difficult time with trust. I hadn't trusted anyone or anything since that horrible day. In addition to losing my joy, peace, and happiness; my trust in everything (including me) disappeared. I told the voice, "I can't."

A sad voice responded, "I love you." Then I didn't hear it again for some time.

I continued to join in with the music and worship. I sang my heart out but still couldn't understand why God hadn't heard my cries. I needed him and it seemed like He left me. 

After an exhausting weekend, I laid down on our last night of the retreat. I felt empty but most of all, I felt disappointed. I was almost certain that the Lord would have heard me over the weekend, especially with so many prayers that had been said. 

I tossed and turned until exhaustion claimed me and I fell into a restless sleep. My dreams weren't relaxed and refreshing. Normally, they were filled with violence, pain, and chaos. They seemed to reflect the internal war that had been going on inside of me. I was numb to them.

I found myself standing in a beautiful field of Gerber daisies of all colors. They were bright and calming. The warm wind gently blew and their lovely fragrance filled the air around me. For the first time in months, I felt peace. The sun shined warm against my face, as the birds sang their amazing grace.

Off in the distance, a figure appeared to me in a burst of glory and caught my attention. The person gracefully walked toward me. As the person got closer, my heart raced until He was completely in view. He wore a cloth garment that went all the way down to the tops of His feet. A gold chest band hugged his mid-section. His hair was white, like freshly fallen snow, and his feet had bronze sandals on them. 

It wasn't until He was standing in front of me that I noticed His eyes. I couldn't take mine off of them. His gaze penetrated me, as His eyes burned into my soul. They looked like fire.

Then He spoke, "My daughter, how I have longed for this! Please sit," He finished as He gestured to a bench I didn't notice before.

I stood in amazement. I didn't need Him to tell me who He was because I already knew. "Lord," I started, "Why haven't you answered my cries? I've spent hours pouring my hurts and pains out to you. I needed you, but you weren't there." I cried. 

"Yes, Rae-Beth. I know. I've heard you all along. It has been you who has chosen to not hear me." He explained.

I was surprised because I had spent many hours waiting. I never once heard Him.

"But Lord, I tried to listen for you. I waited and waited, but nothing happened." I told Him.

"My precious child, do you remember when you were in your living room, on your knees, screaming while you were crying?" He asked me. 

"I do," I replied, wondering what that moment had to do with where He was when everything happened.

"Do you remember how you had music playing in the background?"

"Yeah."

"I'm the reason why the song didn't play out to the end, but instead it skipped mid-song to a different one on your list," He explained. 

I thought about this moment a lot since it happened. I was at a loss. My heart felt broken and my soul was shattered. I was home alone on this particular day. I held a piece of paper in my hands while I prayed in my chair. This certain chair, I had intended on using as my breastfeeding chair, but the sudden death of my daughter stopped that one.

I really thought Jesus didn't care or chose not to hear me. I went to the center of my living room and fell to my knees as I cried. In the background, my music stopped in mid-song and skipped to "You'll Be in My Heart by Phil Collins".

"I remember," I said.

"I made the song come on so you'd know I was there. Like I have told you, I've been here since her heart stopped beating and always," He explained.

"I never thought that Jesus was trying to get my attention, especially through that kind of music."

"I had been trying to get you to hear my voice and heed to my words. I tried reaching you in your dreams, through the clouds, butterflies, and music. I created dreams to tell you that I was with you. I shaped the clouds just for you. I sent many butterflies of color. However, you didn't seem to notice it was me." He said as he hung His head. 

How could I have been so blind? The Man who I cried to, the Man who I needed had been here this entire time. I began to cry. 

"I'm sorry, Lord," I wept, "I didn't know."

"It was me who spoke to you this weekend. I have been trying to tell you to let go of the pain, anxiety, fear, and heartache. All of these feeling at one time for how intense they are; is too much for your soul. My daughter, hand them to me. I carried them for you the day I carried the cross. The day I was lifted into Heaven was the day I promised that you wouldn't ever have to carry them. This burden is too much. I love you and it pains me to see my daughter in so much turmoil." He said. 

I had no words. I didn't realize just how much I meant to Him. They 'ole me was and is loved by the glorious King of Kings!

"Rae-Beth, open your right hand," He instructed.

I did. A ball of emotions circulated in the center of my palm. 

"Hand it to me," He demanded. "It's no longer yours to bare!"

I did as I was told. The Lord took a hold of it and as He did, I instantly felt relief. My shoulders didn't feel as heavy. I could breathe once again.

"Thank you, Lord," I said and smiled.

I felt wonderful. I never imagined I'd ever feel this way again. 

"I must go now. It's time for you to wake. Remember, I love you. Listen for my voice and I will always be here." 

"I love you, too."

I woke with joy and peace. As I was worshipping that morning, I truly believed the words I sang. I believed that Jesus was with me always. 

This was the day I let go.

This was the day I fully let Jesus take control of my life.

This was the day I felt His amazing grace.

This was the day I started to fully believe!

(c) 2015 by Rae-Beth McGee-Buda

All Rights Reserved